


What Now?

by libgalww (daytonamom)



Category: Third Watch
Genre: Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:43:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3903448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daytonamom/pseuds/libgalww
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bosco's thoughts during Season 3 Episode 12 ‘The Long Guns’</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Now?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to FanFiction.net in February 2002

"What now?"

 

I couldn't stop the words. They just rushed from me without any thought. I stood there shouting at a man that could no longer answer me. I shouted, 'what now?' But my heart was sobbing 'why.'

Why did you do this?

In that instant I didn't care that a man that I thought was my friend was dead. I didn't think about his wife or his family.

The only thought in my head was a selfish one. Why did you do this to me?

He told me that he was giving me a gift that he was trying to stop me from screwing up the lives of the people that care about me. Didn't he know that I've already done that? Didn't he care that his life wasn't the only one that would change today?

 

"What now?"

 

As I stood on the roof, I felt the eyes of everyone around me staring at me. I turned away from the body in front of me. I grabbed the edge of the roof for some kind of support. I forced down the sobs that were trying to escape. I would not cry.

Boscorellis don't cry.

 

* * *

 

 

Faith tried to comfort me. She kept telling me it was over. How could this be over? This was a man I looked up to… how could I ignore his blood on my face.

I pushed her away. I didn't want her near me. She was leaving. I could feel her hovering behind me. She wanted to help me. Why did she care? She hadn't cared enough to tell me she was sick, why did she care now?

How could he do this? I knew he wouldn't hurt me even before he dropped the clip. Why didn't anybody listen to me? Why didn't he give me a chance to help him?

Faith was telling me to forget it.

"I don't want to forget!"

I looked at him one last time and then threw my hands up and turned away from him. He wasn't my friend anymore; he was just some asshole with his brains leaking out all over the top of some crummy hotel.

As I wiped his blood from my face, I realized it didn't matter. Nothing did.

I don't know how I made it down the side of the building to the car. I'm sure Faith had a lot to do with it. She opened the passenger door of our squad and pushed me into the seat. I looked up into her worried eyes.

"Why didn't he let me help him?" I whispered.

Faith squatted down in front of me and put her hand on my knee. "Bosco, this is not your fault. He didn't give anyone a choice."

I could feel tears pooling in my eyes. I rubbed them away quickly with the back of my sleeve. I looked into her eyes. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears. She was upset, and it didn't have anything to do with Hobart. Hobart hadn't really cared about me, but Faith did. Maybe I didn't deserve it, but she did, Faith cared.

Something inside of me broke. I couldn't stop the sobs that wracked my body. Faith pulled me forward into a hug. I closed my eyes and clung to her.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Flat Stanley lying on the ground at my feet. I bent down and picked him up. Faith gave me a weak smile as she rubbed my back.

Life will go on. I just had a new scar to add to my collection. How many is too many?

 

I wonder how many scars Hobart had.

 

The End


End file.
